Book Description Review “Amy Spalding knows that best friendships are love stories, and this one is complex, earnest, and unflinching. A must-read for anyone who’s ever had or lost a friend.”, Becky Albertalli, New York Times bestselling author of Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda“We Used to Be Friends chronicles the end of a friendship with a bittersweet authenticity balanced by Amy Spalding’s trademark humor. This book will break your heart only like a best friend can.”, Maurene Goo, author of Somewhere Only We Know“Amy Spalding spins a story of friendship, family, love, and longing as perfect and bittersweet as the last days of summer.”, Rebecca Podos, Lambda Literary Award-winning author of Like Water”In alternating first-person perspectives, James and Kat each tell their stories, and despite their flaws, both become deeply sympathetic characters throughthe course of their narratives. . . The nonlinear structure adds some suspense to what is otherwise a bittersweet and potent examination of friendship, its failings, and its worth.”, Booklist”A good exploration of the heartbreak of losing a friend—and learning about oneself in the process.”, Kirkus Reviews”The author effectively conveys the ways that a desire for perfection can keep people at arm’s length, how not telling people things makes it harder to tell them later, and how silence can come to feel like a lie… Spalding shows with sensitivity how the pain of losing a close friend can seep into everything.”, Publishers Weekly”Teens hurting from any breakup can find some solace here; while the book makes clear that sometimes splitting up is inevitable, it holds out hope that time apart and open conversations can bring people back together.” , Bulletin of the Center for Children’s Books”A captivating snapshot of a friendship that many teens will relate to. Spalding explores important questions while lyrically weaving the two stories together.”, School Library Journal Read more About the Author Amy Spalding is the author of several novels for teens, including Kissing Ted Callahan (and Other Guys) and The Summer of Jordi Perez (and the Best Burger in Los Angeles), which earned a starred review from Kirkus. She lives in Los Angeles. Read more Customers Review: 3.5 STARSFormer best friends Kat and James (a girl) tell the story of how their friendship fell apart. Kat’s narration is from past to present, James’s from present to past. The girls handle hardship differently. Introverted James retreats, extroverted Kat shares. Kat sees James as secretive, James sees Kat as attention seeking.Although I’m more like James than Kat, I found James the less sympathetic friend. She blames Kat for not asking about Big Things like her parents’ divorce and college choice change, yet they are topics that wouldn’t be on the radar unless disclosed. I can see why Kat wouldn’t think to ask, yet I can also see how James would want things to be about her. I didn’t see Kat as attention seeking as much as seeking the external validation she missed since her mother’s death.WE USED TO BE FRIENDS is a fairly realistic look at how a friendship that was supposed to last forever didn’t. The ending was fairly open ended with a past chapter, the first in the story of the friendship deconstruction. Amy Spaulding choosing two different timelines felt gimmicky rather than the best way to tell the story. When writers first began telling stories with alternating timelines, even backwards it felt fresh and exciting. Now I’d just assume a linear start to finish.I loved the dads in the story and that Kat, though initially reluctant and fearful about her mom being replaced, embraced her father’s girlfriend. Attentive, decent yet imperfect parents are sometimes difficult to find in YA literature.WE USED TO BE FRIENDS likely appeals more to girls than boys middle school through high school age.
Structured like The Last Five Years, with one narrative moving forward and one in reverse, this follows a friendship breaking up rather than a marriage. It expertly shows how that can hurt so much more than the dissolution of a romantic relationship. Amy Spalding does such a good job of showing both sides, and how quickly small cracks and things left unsaid can turn into huge problems. While the narrative was balanced, I’m still human, so of course I have an opinion about who shoulders more of the blame, but this was so good and so heartbreaking to read.
James and Kat has been best friends since kindergarten… until they aren’t any more. We Used to Be Friends follows their senior year of high school as they drift apart. For anyone who has ended a friendship not with a bang, but with a whimper, this story feels both bitter and sweet- nostalgia and memories from the early days of a friendship mixed with the heart wrenching realization that your person isn’t really your person any more.
Places this book made me cry – a hotel, a plane, a couch, next to my bookshelf on my living room floor as I reshelved it after finishing it. This book remembers what it’s like to be a teenager and to grow up and grow apart… And that friendship breakups are just as real and painful as romantic ones, but neither will kill you. I needed this when I was 17 and as a librarian I can’t wait to get it into the hands of teens.
This is the kind of book that, upon reaching the end, you immediately want to start again from the beginning. It’s sad without being maudlin, and manages to offer a dose of hopefulness among the ruins.
Such a delight. Great topic, good characters.
Wasn’t crazy about the format with the alternating timelines BUT when those voices meet at the end, it’s beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time—like Thelma and Louise going over the cliff.
First off, can I start this review by saying I’m massively impressed that Amy was able to not only write an entire book in dual point of views, which is hard enough, but also wrote it in opposite timelines as well. As a writer, I’m lucky if I remember my character’s name, what their purpose is and what tense I’m writing in. I was constantly blown away with how she managed to create a story that goes in opposite directions and still have the reader wondering what on earth happens. It was a brilliant way to write things and seriously, I read this book back in September and I’m still blown away.Second, I had something like this happen to me. I had a best friend from the time I was seven years old until I was about…twenty-three, twenty-four and our friendship just imploded. We’ve tried to fix it once since then but we just couldn’t make it work. That break up, that dissolution was more painful than the break up of my ex and I and we’d been together for nearly seven years. A friendship break up is painful. I think as people we’ve grown to accept that not all relationships last forever but friendships are supposed to last forever and it really hurts when they end.Amy perfectly captures that feeling. I feel it SO hard. I relate to James so hard. Watching your friend grow away from you, with someone else who is more important – god, I felt that. I felt the struggle of her going through her parent’s separation and preparing for the future and feeling like she has become second fiddle to everything in her best friend’s life. I think I had a hard time with Kat because she felt like my ex-best friend and so I was frustrated with Kat for much of the book. Amy wrote her really well, she did, but maybe because I was connected with James so MUCH, I had a hard time understanding Kat’s side of the story. On the other hand, there might be people out there – my ex-best friend, for one – that will connect more with Kat than James. Either way I really think that Amy does such a fantastic job of showing the heartbreak and disappointment that comes from a longtime friendship dissolving. I really, honestly felt it and it was almost hard to read at times because of how REAL it felt.All in all, I’ve always loved Amy’s novels – she really captures emotions so well and I honestly think she did this once again with this book. She captures high school and uncertainty and she captures new romance and romance ending and great friendships and dissolution of friendships and I just honestly love this book. I think every person has had a friendship breakup at least once in their life and I think they’ll honestly really relate to this book. This happens so slowly, the way it happens in life, and that is what makes it so good. It’s not a big blow up, its not one thing but its a build up of things that you get in forwards time and backwards time and its just a seriously emotional, well-written book. When you all get $$$ and gift cards for Christmas, I recommend picking it up on January 7th. |
18 reviews