  | Book Details Title: You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters |
Book DescriptionReview “If you’re like most people, you don’t listen as often or as well as you’d like. There’s no one better qualified than a talented journalist to introduce you to the right mindset and skillset―and this book does it with science and humor.” -Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Originals and Give and Take“You’re Not Listening is an essential book for our times. How well we listen determines how we love, learn, and connect with one another, and in this moment when we need to hear and be heard more than ever, this thought-provoking and engaging book shows us how.” -Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone“I was instantly hooked by Kate Murphy’s simple but profound argument–that although listening is the foundation of communication, innovation, growth, and love, few of us really know how to do it properly, or where to even start. You’re Not Listening is a captivating and enlightening book that provides readers with a road map on how to listen and why it is so important to how we connect, work, and live.”-Kim Scott, New York Times bestselling author of Radical Candor“This lively book makes an impassioned plea for listening–an instructive and thought-provoking book that will help readers think about the way they frame questions and responses to forge intimacy.”–Financial Times“Fiercely topical…You’re Not Listening is an intriguing and constructive take on the problem…and a manual for better communication. Murphy’s book is intelligent and thought-provoking…. Listening is when someone take a real interest in who you are…a moment of attunement and understanding that sticks in both heads. We could all do with some of that.”–The Times (London)“It’s time for a spot of re-education…. A fascinating guide to something we assume we do automatically, yet for the most part do very badly…. The art of listening is really the art of being human.”–The Guardian“In an age when technology has made it easier than ever before to talk with each other, we’ve paradoxically become worse at listening. Fortunately, we have Kate Murphy to teach us how to reclaim this crucial skill. This book changed the way I think about communicating with the people who matter to me.”-Cal Newport, New York Times bestselling author of Deep Work and Digital Minimalism“With concrete advice and a wealth of guidelines, readers will come away with tips for a better approach, one that can be exceptionally useful, whether in the boardroom or at home. In an era dominated by incessant broadcasting and attention-seeking behavior on social media, listening offers both a salve and a solution.”–Booklist“From communication researchers to general audiences, this informative and well-documented book will prod readers to reexamine the way they listen to others, individually and collectively, and to consider the many negative repercussions of not doing so.”-Library Journal“The premise of this book couldn’t be more timely… inspiringly profound… Smart and playful… It feels like a reiteration of something essential… Murphy is here to remind us – entertainingly and compellingly – exactly why it matters so much, especially right now. Hear, hear.”-The Observer“Kate Murphy…has pinpointed an uneasy truth in her new book: we may be great at leading the conversations, but perhaps not so much being on the receiving end of them.”-Independent.ie Read more About the Author Kate Murphy is a Houston, Texas–based journalist who has written for The New York Times, The Economist, Agence France-Presse, and Texas Monthly. Read more Customers Review: This book’s most important lesson may be a collection of tenets you must believe to be an effective listener: (1) People are unpredictable — everyone you know or meet. (2) What you know is different from what they know. (3) There is more to the story than first appears. Kate Murphy then effectively exposes what you can *do* with those truths — how to commit to listening and its magical (though scientifically explained) ability to enrich you through learning and building close relationships. Read the book with a pen in hand — there’s no 1-pager cheat-sheet at the end.That said, brace yourself for a certain preachiness that infuses every chapter. I wish that the book centralized all the critiques of the modern world (social media, addictive phones, political climate, etc.), so that the other chapters could more purely focus on the intersection of listening and *timeless* characteristics of the human experience (distractability, building of intimacy, a beautiful question, etc.). Instead, you’ll have to muscle through the sense that the author keeps touching on those critiques since she thinks you JUST DO NOT GET IT YET.I also think there’s an important topic the author missed, or only brushes against: How to engender an environment where you will be listened to. It’s true that listening itself will have this impact — a great way for a person to say with genuine curiosity, “How was your day?”, is to first have that very conversation about *their* day. But you can’t rely on others to bring the same focus and intent to conversations as you will after reading this book. Is there any evidence out in the world of how to help someone *else* shift into “listener” mode? After all, the author makes the case that the best conversations — and even business or academic partnerships — involve *all* participants being listeners.That said, this is an important work. I’ve looked for accessible best practices for listening, and this is the first I’ve found, and it’s new. I celebrate and thank Kate Murphy for her inspiration and her legwork to give me a framework and tactics to become a better human.
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80 reviews